Losing someone you love can leave you feeling as though part of your own direction disappeared with them.
The future may look different.
Ordinary routines may feel unfamiliar.
Milestones may feel incomplete.
You may find yourself asking questions that have no simple answers:
What do I do with all this love now?
How do I carry their memory forward?
How do I keep living when so much has changed?
Purpose does not erase grief.
It does not make the loss fair, and it does not mean everything happened for a reason.
But sometimes, purpose gives love and grief somewhere meaningful to go.
Purpose Does Not Need to Appear Right Away
There is no deadline for finding meaning after loss.
In the early days, simply getting through each hour may be enough.
You may not feel inspired.
You may not know what comes next.
You may not want to turn your pain into anything.
That is okay.
Grief does not need to become productive.
Purpose should never be another expectation placed on someone who is already carrying loss.
It may appear slowly, months or even years later.
It may begin quietly through one small choice.
Start With What They Taught You
A loved one’s legacy often lives in the values they passed on.
Think about what mattered to them.
Were they generous?
Hardworking?
Loyal?
Family-oriented?
Compassionate?
Community-minded?
Did they always show up for people?
Did they make others laugh?
Did they believe in helping when someone was struggling?
Living out those values can be one way of carrying them forward.
Purpose does not always require creating something new.
Sometimes, it means choosing to live in a way that reflects what they taught you.
Let Their Memory Shape Kindness
Acts of kindness can become a meaningful expression of remembrance.
You may choose to:
- Bring a meal to someone
- Support a family facing illness
- Donate in their name
- Volunteer
- Check in with a caregiver
- Help a grieving family
- Sponsor a comfort basket
- Thank a healthcare worker
- Share a story
- Offer practical help to someone in need
One small act can keep their influence moving through the world.
Purpose Can Be Personal
Not every meaningful response to grief needs to become public.
Purpose may look like:
- Raising your children with the values they taught you
- Continuing a family tradition
- Preserving photographs and stories
- Writing in a journal
- Visiting a meaningful place
- Cooking their favourite meal
- Listening to music they loved
- Creating a memory box
- Speaking their name
- Allowing their lessons to guide your choices
Quiet remembrance is still meaningful.
Purpose Can Also Become a Project
Some people feel called to create something larger in memory of someone they lost.
That may include:
- A fundraiser
- A scholarship
- A memorial event
- A community program
- A book
- A foundation
- A support group
- A donation drive
- A garden
- A comfort basket initiative
The project should grow at a pace that feels manageable.
It does not need to begin perfectly.
It only needs to begin honestly.
The Story Behind Our Purpose
The Glen Adnam Cancer Comfort Basket Foundation grew from the loss of my dad.
My dad, Glen, faced tonsil squamous cell carcinoma that later spread to his bones and liver.
After he died in 2019, I carried a strong desire to do something meaningful in his memory.
I could not change what had happened.
I could not remove the pain cancer brought into our family.
But I could choose what I carried forward.
I could create something rooted in compassion.
I could help another patient feel remembered.
I could support caregivers, children, grieving families, and healthcare teams.
I could allow my dad’s name to continue creating comfort.
That purpose became this foundation.
Purpose and Pain Can Exist Together
Building something meaningful does not make the grief disappear.
There are still moments when the loss feels heavy.
There are still milestones I wish my dad could see.
There are still things I wish I could tell him.
Purpose does not replace the person.
It becomes one way of staying connected to the love that remains.
You can be proud of what you are building and still wish you never had a reason to build it.
Both feelings can be true.
Begin With One Small Step
A purpose-driven project can feel overwhelming.
You may see the full vision and wonder how you will ever make it real.
Begin with one step.
That might be:
- Writing down the idea
- Sharing the story with someone you trust
- Donating one item
- Helping one person
- Creating one basket
- Collecting one memory
- Starting one tradition
- Making one phone call
- Volunteering for one event
Small actions can grow over time.
Let the Purpose Reflect the Person
A memorial project is most meaningful when it feels connected to the person being honoured.
Ask:
- What did they care about?
- How did they treat others?
- What brought them joy?
- What did they hope for?
- What role did they play in the community?
- What lessons did they leave behind?
- How would they want to be remembered?
The answer may guide the kind of purpose that feels right.
Do Not Compare Your Grief or Purpose
Some people create organizations.
Others write books.
Some volunteer.
Others remember privately.
One response is not more meaningful than another.
Your way of carrying someone forward does not need to look like anyone else’s.
Purpose is not measured by size, attention, money, or impact.
It is measured by how honestly it reflects the love behind it.
Let Community Help
You do not have to build something alone.
Friends, relatives, businesses, volunteers, and community members may want to contribute.
They may offer skills, resources, time, ideas, or encouragement.
Let people help where it feels appropriate.
A personal loss can become a shared mission when others choose to stand beside you.
Protect Your Own Well-Being
Purpose can become demanding.
A memorial project may bring emotional triggers, difficult stories, administrative pressure, and responsibility.
It is important to rest.
Set boundaries.
Take breaks.
Ask for help.
Remember that you do not have to prove your love by exhausting yourself.
The person you lost is not honoured by you becoming completely depleted.
Allow the Purpose to Evolve
The way you honour someone may change over time.
A small idea may grow.
A large project may need to slow down.
A public memorial may become more private.
A tradition may take on new meaning as children grow.
You are allowed to adjust the purpose as your life and grief change.
Evolution does not mean you are leaving the person behind.
It means you are allowing their legacy to continue growing with you.
Purpose Can Connect People
One of the most meaningful parts of a grief-driven mission is discovering that other people understand.
Your story may reach someone facing a similar loss.
Your project may help a patient, caregiver, child, or grieving family.
Your honesty may make someone feel less alone.
When personal pain becomes compassionate connection, it can create something powerful.
You Are Still Allowed to Have Joy
Finding purpose after loss does not mean your entire life must remain centred on grief.
You are allowed to build new memories.
You are allowed to celebrate.
You are allowed to laugh.
You are allowed to rest.
You are allowed to create a life that feels full, even while someone important is missing.
Joy does not erase love.
It honours the fact that you are still here.
When Purpose Feels Far Away
There may be seasons when you do not feel purposeful.
You may feel tired, numb, lost, or unsure.
That does not mean you have failed.
Sometimes, purpose is simply caring for yourself.
Sometimes, it is getting through the day.
Sometimes, it is remembering.
You do not always need a mission.
You are allowed to exist inside your grief without turning it into action.
Love Can Continue Creating Good
Losing someone you love changes you.
It may leave a space that never fully closes.
But within that space, love can continue taking new forms.
It can become a story.
A tradition.
A value passed to your children.
A hand extended to someone else.
A basket created for a patient.
A mission built in someone’s name.
The Glen Adnam Cancer Comfort Basket Foundation is one expression of that continuing love.
It was born from loss, but it is being built with compassion, community, and hope.
Finding purpose after losing someone does not mean the grief is over.
It means the love still has somewhere to go.
